Pickup Lines



Beware, some of these are very tasteless.

 


If I had a nickel for every time I've seen a women as beautiful as you, I'd only have a nickel.

Are you from Tennessee? Cuz you're the only ten I see!

Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.

Pardon me, Miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, can I borrow yours?

If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

Hey baby, drop that zero and get with the hero. In other words, you better come with me.

My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime.

Is your name Pepsi? Cuz I've gotta have it!

You must be Jamaican cuz cha makin' me crazy.

Your legs must be tired cuz you've been running through my mind all night.

You are just truly, absolutely beautiful! Can you cook and clean also?

You look just like my mother.

I'm feeling a little off today. Would you like to turn me on?

Can I borrow a quarter? I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams.
OR
I want to call your mom and thank her.

Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.

Excuse me, but I think I just dropped something. MY JAW!!

Hello. I'm a thief and I'm here to steal your heart.

I'm sorry. Were you talking to me? (No.) Well, then please start.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

If you were a tear in my eye, I would not cry for fear of losing you.

I only have 3 months to live...

You must be from Pearl Harbor cuz baby, you're DA BOMB!!

You're like a dictionary. You add meaning to my life.

Girl: "Excuse me, do you have the time?" Guy: "Do you have the energy?"

Help the homeless. Take me home with you.

Hi. My name is Milk. I'll do your body good.

Your daddy must be a baker cuz you got a nice set of buns!

Hands out a phone card that says, "Smile if you want to sleep with me," and watches as girl tries to suppress a laugh.

If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?

Is your father a thief? (No.) Then who stole the stars and put them in your eyes?

My love for you is like diarrhea. I just can't hold it in!

Did it hurt? You know, when you fell from heaven.

If good looks were doggie doodie, then you'd be da shiz!

Your daddy must be a drug dealer cuz you're DOPE!

Looks at tag on girl's sweater. When asked what he's doing, says, "I wanted to know if you were really made in heaven."

Do you carry magnets in your pocket, because I'm attracted to you.

Excuse me, do you have a library? Because I would like to check you out.

You must be a parking ticket cuz you got FINE written all over you.

Your body's VISA. It's everywhere I want to be.

All those curves and me with no brakes!

My friend over there wants to know if you'll give ME your number.

Do you have a license...to drive me crazy?

Do you have any raisins? How about a date?

Nice outfit. Can I talk you out of it?

Am I a light switch? Because you have been turning me on all day!

Excuse me, I think you have something of mine. My heart!!

If you were a scab I wouldn't pick you for fear of losing you.

Are those shoulder blades or wings?

Do you think God would be angry if I married one of his angels?

Baby, you're the poo and I'm the fly all over you!

My parents are out for the night. Can you baby sit me?

Pulls out car key and proceeds to place it on girl's arm and turn it. When asked what he's doing, replies "I'm trying to turn you on."

Are you hot? Well, you sure are making me sweat!

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

Excuse me, my friend over there wants to know if you think I am cute.

I would send you a rose, but you can just look in the mirror and see one for yourself.

Is your name Gillette? Cuz you're the best a man can get!

Is it just YOU or is it hot in here?

Hey, I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

If I followed you home, would you keep me?

I desire you like the prize at the bottom of a cracker jack box.

What's your sign? Caution; Slippery When Wet; Dangerous Curves Ahead; or Yield?

Have I died and gone to heaven? You look like an angel.

You are under arrest for robbery. You stole my heart.

I didn't think angels exist, but I'm talking to one now.

I know milk does a body good but damn, how much have you been drinking?

Hi. I'm Burger King. I'll let you have it your way right away.

I'll give you a dollar if you give me your name and phone number.

Are you Greek? (No.) Oh my bad. I thought all goddesses were Greek.

Do you work for Kodak? Cuz you're really well developed.

God must have spent a little more time on you.

Hi. I'm single. I mean, I'm ______(name).

I hope you know CPR because you take my breath away.

Can you touch me so I can say I was touched by an angel?

Is your name Candy? Cuz you're so sweet!

Your dad must be a potato cuz your eyes are beautiful.

I have more money than you can spend.

What would you do if I kissed you right now?

I've got a blue toothbrush, and you?

I feel like Richard Gere standing here beside a pretty woman.

May I have a picture of you? I want to show Santa what I want for Christmas!

Excuse me, I'm new in town... May I have directions to your house?

There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't seem to take them off of you.

I'm a great flirt, can I prove it to you?

Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?

Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.

Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?

The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name. Will you tell me?

I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.

I'm not very good at flirting, but can I practice with you?

Hershey's makes millions of kisses a day... I'm only asking for one.

Baby, if you were words on a page, you'd be what they call FINE PRINT!

It's not my fault I fell in love, you're the one who tripped me!

Don't let me fall for you if you won't be there to catch me.

Let's make like a fabric softener and Snuggle(TM)

Good evening. May a thorn sit down amongst the roses?

Baby, you're so sweet, you put Hershey's outta business.

I just had to come talk with you. Sweetness is my weakness.

You're so hot you would make the devil sweat.

When God made you, he was showing off.

Do you have a name or can I call you mine?